Have you ever had a moment (or several) in time when you just felt overwhelmed? A moment when Satan has subtly snuck in with an insidious lie to tell you that you are failing? Maybe you have felt like you are just fluttering to keep up with the demands all around? Have you ever just felt crushed under all the real and self-imposed pressures and expectations that are on on you?
Being a missionary here in Guatemala is not a glamorous life. It is blessed and good, because it is where God is calling me to be, but it comes with many challenges and struggles as well. These struggles and challenges are great for producing more patience and strength, but sometimes they can seem to come to a head. This past week held such a moment for me!
This past week, as I was working to organize and clean a bodega (storage space similar to a garage or small supply room) for the children’s home, such a moment hit me, and hit me hard. All of the sudden I felt the build up of pressures and stresses of past months make me feel incredibly overwhelmed. I almost felt paralyzed as the insidious lies and attacks of Satan came forth in a burst upon me… ‘You failure!’ ‘You can’t do this!’ ‘What do you, who have had no family, know about family life?!’ ‘Abogar is nothing!’
While the barrage of lies and intensity of the attack were profound, they did not compare to what happened in the next moment! As I stood there, feeling paralyzed and crushed, just outside of the window of the bodega came a gorgeous fluttering little hummingbird (my favorite type of bird)! While its wings seem to be moving a hundred miles an hour, it was able to just hover and rest above a beautiful flower as it drank from its nectar. In that very moment, as I saw and was in awe of God’s creation of such a beautiful creature, He whispered something special and precious to me! While it was not an audible voice, it was a voice and it was clearer than day that God spoke to me and told me, “You are my beautiful beloved!”
This was not the first time that God has spoken those words over me, but first or hundredth, those words define me and hold me more than a million of Satan’s lies and discouragement! In that moment I fell to my knees on the cement floor of the bodega, not from stress, pressures, or feeling crushed, but just to worship and adore my Father, Lord God Almighty. His affirmation empowers me with strength and courage to continue working to see children’s lives changed for His glory! The attacks of Satan and life pressures and circumstances pale in comparison to the overwhelming love and grace of God.
While the work is slow, and results even slower, the love and presence of God are what are needed for perseverance and persistence to follow His will, even when and if others may not see the results, and we may not see the results in our timing or liking! So, as discouragement, stress, pressures, lies, and feeling overwhelmed may be a reality that we each face as we serve God, it is my hope, prayer, and belief that there are even more precious moments for us to hear of and know the deep and intimate love that the Father has for His children! Thank You, God, for precious moments!