I am mad! Maybe this is not the right time or place to say so, but I am mad! I am mad at a world so blind and clamoring for anything that they are truly missing everything! For as we pursue everything we often attain nothing. Its actually usually in the small things that great pleasure and fulfillment are attained. I am tired of a world that doesn’t stop the mad-race for success, money, fame, popularity, pride, power, position. I am mad that tonight millions of beautiful kids around the world lay on streets, in alleys, under bridges, in doorways, in dumps, in fields, and all around while many others live a lavished life of comfort! I am mad at myself; that being this human, this raw, this honest is not socially accepted but is exactly who I am. I am mad that things entertain and distract us while many fight to survive another day. I am mad at the injustice and horrific acts of violence and violation that take place against children all around the world! I am mad at Satan and sin and stupidity.
I am MAD!! I am so mad I just want to throw something!! And as I vented this to God almighty, He told me to throw something! He suggested I continue throwing starfish!! (Though I shared this story just recently, I really sense God pushing me to share it yet again!)
“Once upon a time, there was a wise man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work.
One day, as he was walking along the shore, he looked down the beach and saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself at the thought of someone who would dance to the day, and so, he walked faster to catch up.
As he got closer, he noticed that the figure was that of a young man, and that what he was doing was not dancing at all. The young man was reaching down to the shore, picking up small objects, and throwing them into the ocean.
He came closer still and called out “Good morning! May I ask what it is that you are doing?”
The young man paused, looked up, and replied “Throwing starfish into the ocean.”
“I must ask, then, why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?” asked the somewhat startled wise man.
To this, the young man replied, “The sun is up and the tide is going out. If I don’t throw them in, they’ll die.”
Upon hearing this, the wise man commented, “But, young man, do you not realize that there are miles and miles of beach and there are starfish all along every mile? You can’t possibly make a difference!”
At this, the young man bent down, picked up yet another starfish, and threw it into the ocean. As it met the water, he said,
“It made a difference for that one.”
― Loren Eiseley
As I think upon this story, God is asking me to be the young man… throwing starfish! My job is not to focus on the people playing and enjoying the beach, sunbathing, walking, running, biking, and being oblivious to the millions of starfish that will die if they aren’t thrown back into the water. My job is not to focus on the fact that there are millions. My job, my call, the answer that God has for me in response to my anger, in response to my wanting to throw things is simple… just throw starfish… one at a time, each one special and worthy of my time and investment. I can not be mad that I can’t get to them all. I can’t be mad that others may not join in. I can only surrender and submit myself to God’s call… Jesse, continuing throwing starfish!!
May God hold and help me to make a difference. For Abogar to make a difference! May the children that I am fighting for, that Abogar is fighting for, that God cries out for… may we see each one of them as worthy of the investment of time and work that it takes to get them into the right environment and place that they might thrive! Yes Lord, I choose the right response to this anger, to all that is making me mad… I choose to continue throwing starfish!!