Its 11am, Monday, March 7th, 2016… just 10 days shy of my first full year being completed of me living here in Guatemala as a missionary. I am literally sitting on my couch and crying. Tears are rolling down my face right now as I am sooooo frustrated at how slow things progress, at how little of an impact my life and work seems to be making in the lives of children right now. I haven’t cried this hard for a while.
My heart hurts and its not for some selfish, woe-is-me, didn’t get my newest worldly possession type of hurt. My heart hurts because today, this very day, living in the streets, dumps, shacks, and under bridges and abandoned buildings, there are more than 150 millions children around the world who will not be hugged, held, loved, wanted, or even helped! I see God’s heart, and know that as Jesus looks at this world, seeing these precious children, and tears fall also from His eyes and face.
As I have been reflecting on this, God brought to my mind a story from the Bible in John chapter 6…
5 When Jesus looked up and saw a great crowd coming toward him, he said to Philip, “Where shall we buy bread for these people to eat?” 6 He asked this only to test him, for he already had in mind what he was going to do.
7 Philip answered him, “It would take more than half a year’s wages[a] to buy enough bread for each one to have a bite!”
8 Another of his disciples, Andrew, Simon Peter’s brother, spoke up,9 “Here is a boy with five small barley loaves and two small fish, but how far will they go among so many?”
10 Jesus said, “Have the people sit down.” There was plenty of grass in that place, and they sat down (about five thousand men were there).11 Jesus then took the loaves, gave thanks, and distributed to those who were seated as much as they wanted. He did the same with the fish.
12 When they had all had enough to eat, he said to his disciples, “Gather the pieces that are left over. Let nothing be wasted.” 13 So they gathered them and filled twelve baskets with the pieces of the five barley loaves left over by those who had eaten.
The boy had just a small amount to give. He could have said no. He could have reasoned, “There’s definitely not enough for everyone, and this is for my family.” In today’s world, we often justify why we don’t give everything that we have… “It’s not prudent or wise.” “It’s not good stewardship.” “God would never call me to do that.” But the reality is that if God invites someone to give it all up, He will do miraculously, amazingly, supernaturally, above and beyond all that we could ask or imagine. It’s a matter of trusting Him and living in faith! The boy gave it all, what little he had, and got to watch Jesus make miracles happen.
Please understand, I AM NOT PROMOTING A PROSPERITY GOSPEL!! Jesus chose one boy in the multitude, and multiplied only his food to bless all! Its not a formula or magical potion for people to get rich. The truth is the boy had no more and no less than what he started with, when it was all said and done… but he was blessed because of his faith to see God do the mighty and make great what little he had!
This year we, Abogar, look to formulate Asociacion Abogar Guatemala (AboGua), to fight for the children in Guatemala to have homes, family, and educational opportunities. We also are planning to implement an International Director for AboGua! We sense God calling us to locate/buy property in Guatemala for AboGua as well. We also have $116,000+ that we need to raise this year to accomplish what God is calling us to!! To do these things, I have lots of work that I am doing and need to do; to figure out HOW to do it right, do it well, and with the right foundation and people.
These are NOT my strengths, and yet God keeps asking me to give Him my loaves and fish, everything. Will I give what little I have, that God can multiply it and make it great for His glory and the blessings of others? YES!! How about you? If God asks you to give up everything, IF GOD ASKS, will you say, “YES!” or will you hold onto man’s reasoning and rational that its not wise or good stewardship?! The boy in the true story above was going to feed his family, but he gave up the opportunity to feed his family to allow Jesus to not only feed his family, but also more than 5,000 other people! He gave what little he had, so that God could make it great. Will you as well?