Confessions From The Heart: The Balance of Boldness and Humility…

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. Philippians 2:3-4

As I am having the distinct privilege and blessing of participating in a 58 day intensive discipleship training program with Kingdom Building Ministries, I am learning a lot about myself. God has, in His sovereignty, seen fit to reveal several of my weaknesses and areas in which I can grow to reflect Him more! I am a prideful man. I am a selfish man. I am an impatient man. I am an arrogant man. I am a distant and distrusting man.

While I have longed for humility a lot in my life, this time of learning has taught and shown me that I am far from humble. I am a very bold man, and trust God to use that boldness for His glory. Sometimes though my boldness is done in my own strength. Staff here at KBM teach that our goal of life is not to have an up-front ministry (being all visible and ‘famous’), but rather an up-close ministry (personal and intentional). I often have a hard time being close to others, due to my own trust and distance issues. Being in front of people and sharing of the love and power of God is quite easy for me, as I don’t have to get too close to people, but am able to share the greatest gift of my life with others with some protective distance! On this trip however, I have been very close with people and I have been short with people, irritated, self-promoting, and I have been rebuked a few times on this trip that I am an arrogant, prideful, and boisterous man. While it breaks my heart to hear this, it breaks my heart even more to know that there is truth spoken in this.

Thinking upon these things, I realize that this is a teachable moment for myself and for others. While we have been given the freedom to come boldly before God (Hebrews 4:16) we also are challenged to live lives of humility before God and others. There is a needed balance between the two. I confess that I don’t and haven’t done very well at this. I want to do it better and see God glorified more! As I think of the children we are working to impact, I want to be a model and example of someone who learns well and demonstrates the very important balance between boldness and humility. Lord, may my boldness shout Your name, and may I increase in a humility that will point to You!!